It's Friday, so it's time for another Frightful Friday! monster. I happen to have a near-phobia with respect to clowns and spiders, and when I saw the first nightmare-fuel inducing image, I knew I had to make a monster for it (as one does). Thankfully, I thought, such a creature does not exist in real-life. Unfortunately, I was wrong, as the second image shows. According to the information presented with that image, the real clown spider is only 5 mm long, but I don't think I'd care how big it was if I saw one.
Today's entry was meant to be an April Fool's entry, but I ended up deciding to put this up on Friday for two reasons. First, it swerved into some fairly dark territory, as nightmares do. Second, Frightful Fridays! is taking over Mythopoeic Rambling for the A-Z blogging challenge (Monday through Saturday, that is. Flash's Sunderday feature will continue uninterrupted).
I hope you, er, enjoy today's monster, and I'll be back on Monday with a much cuter, much less deadly "A" monster for you. Thanks for checking out Frightful Fridays!
|Not real, thankfully|
|All too real, apparently|
“Wa-ha-hey! Time to die, kids!”
Clown Spider CR 13
CE Medium outsider (chaotic, demon, evil, extraplanar)
Init +10; Senses darkvision 60 ft., tremorsense 120 ft.; Perception +26
Aura frightful presence (120 ft., DC 22)
AC 29, touch 23, flat-footed 22 (+6 Dex, +1 dodge, +6 natural, +6 profane)
hp 171 (18d10+72)
Fort +15, Ref +17, Will +11
Immune electricity, poison; Resist acid 20, cold 20, fire 20; SR 24
Speed 30 ft., burrow 20 ft., climb 20 ft.
Melee bite +24 (3d6+3 plus paralysis and poison)
Special Attacks 1d8 Wis drain, fear cone (90 ft., DC 22), paralysis (1d6 rounds, DC 23), manipulating limbs, poison, telekinetic weaponry, web (+24 ranged, DC 23, 18 hp)
Spell-Like Abilities (CL 18th; concentration +21)
At will—hideous laughter (DC 15)
3/day—phantasmal web (DC 18), temporary resurrection
1/day—greater hostile juxtaposition (DC 20), symbol of insanity (DC 21)
Str 14, Dex 23, Con 18, Int 15, Wis 21, Cha 16
Base Atk +18; CMB +24; CMD 43 (55 vs. trip)
Feats Agile Maneuvers, Combat Expertise, Dodge, Greater Disarm, Improved Disarm, Improved Initiative, Lunge, Skill Focus (Perform [comedy]), Weapon Finesse
Skills Acrobatics +27, Bluff +24, Climb +18, Intimidate +24, Perception +26, Perform (comedy) +30, Sense Motive +26, Spellcraft +15, Stealth +27
Languages Abyssal, Common, Gnome; telepathy 120 ft.
Environment any (Abyss)
Organization solitary, pair or spider clown vehicle (3–20)
Manipulating Limbs (Ex) A clown spider can perform two combat maneuvers with its legs per round. This may only be done as part of a full attack.
Poison (Ex) Bite; save Fort DC 23; frequency 1/round for 6 rounds; effect 1d4 Con and 1d4 Wis; cure 2 consecutive saves. The save DC is Constitution-based.
Telekinetic Weaponry (Su) A clown spider telekinetically juggles various objects, one of which it can throw at a target as a free action. The spider makes a ranged attack, which deals 2d6 points of bludgeoning, piercing or slashing damage (clown spider’s choice). The attack has a 60-foot range increment. Additionally, if the spider disarms a foe, that weapon becomes part of the juggled objects, and it can select that weapon to throw (which inflicts damage and other effects per the weapon thrown).
Wisdom Drain (Su) A clown spider can take a free action to drain 1d8 points of Wisdom from a victim suffering from its hideous laughter spell-like ability. This ability grants the creature 5 temporary hit points for each use.
A clown spider is a purveyor of humor...at least as demons envision it. Those clown spiders who impress their demonic masters—usually in a gruesome display involving self-mutilation and the dismemberment of lesser demons—get permission to “go on tour” in the Material plane, where they inflict their deadly comedy stylings on mortals. A typical clown spider stands 2 feet tall, measures 4 feet in diameter (excluding its eight foot-long legs) and weighs 200 pounds.
The arrival of a group of clown spiders is heralded by a coach pulled by lesser demons. A seemingly impossible number of the creatures emerge from the coach and set out to kill the location’s inhabitants—or drive them insane. A clown spider prefers to ensnare its prey with its spell-like abilities and to strip its prey of dangerous weapons that it then incorporates into its own telekinetically whirling circle of death. However, the spider will not hesitate to bite a foe who proves resistant to its attempts at mirth and merriment. As the cruelest joke, a clown spider uses its ability to temporarily resurrect a recently slain victim to force that unfortunate soul to another round of the spider’s depraved sense of humor.
Inexplicably, a clown spider will leave gnomes untouched. It merely wishes to entertain gnomes with its macabre sense of humor, which usually targets non-gnomes in the audience.
Worse relatives to clown spiders, prop comic spiders, are rumored to exist. Many times, one of these creatures takes the blame for a village that looks like some weather-related disaster hit it, even though no severe storms had actually struck.