Friday, May 6, 2011

News Flash! Neil Gaiman is a Weasel!

Leaked document that has come into your Obscure Mythojournalist's possession.  Notice the self-portrait at the bottom and the clear signature of Gaiman mid-page.

Ever once in a while, there will be a news piece of such import, that I must stop the virtual presses and interrupt your regularly scheduled programs to be sure that Mythopoets get the News They Need (working on the appropriate registration here). 

Matt Dean, Republican leader of Minnesota state representatives, has outed Neil Gaiman.  In this fine piece of public servanthood, Dean has fingered Gaiman as a "pencil-necked little weasel who stole $45,000 from the state of Minnesota."  If you poke around Gaiman's blog and look at his latest entries, you will see that he admits to being a "pencil-necked little weasel."  It's the thief part he bristles at.  Let me break this down for you: Gaiman admits to being a weasel because it's true, it's out, at this point it's past plausible deniability.  He's moved on to damage control: He's not a thief.  But is he the mustelid Richard Nixon?

However, informed mythopoets are not going to let this weasel business pass so easily.  We've read our kitsune and tanuki stories.  We know how much trouble these fey furries, these amoral shape-shifters are.  And we are on to you, Mr. Gaiman.  Try your pencil-necked, shape-changing, sticky-fingered tricks now, Gaiman.  We are watching.

Now, do I need to even return to this thief business?  Maybe when Gaiman escaped Her Majesty's United Kingdom, he thought he had escaped the long arm of Kenneth Grahame.  Not so, Gaiman.  Mythopoets the world all over know their Wind in the Willows.  Uncle Walt, fearing a day when American illiteracy might give a cloak to the wicked, made sure of that:

Yes, we've read the end of the book, and we've brought its ending to screens big and small for the good of the mythopoeically illiterate.  Gaiman, everybody knows that weasels are thieves.  The game is up.

Now, if Mr. Gaiman wants to defend his reputation, the way I see it, he has one avenue left to him to save his pencil-like weasel neck: Come on MR  for an interview, Mr. Gaiman.  Defend your reputation if you can and let the Ramblers judge.