I hope you survive beholding this horrific monster. I'll be back next week with something more down-to-earth, like a giant polyp that shoots polyps that release spores infested with flesh-eating paramecia. Thanks for reading!
For fear of summoning Elder Gods because I included the image, here is a link to the disturbing video.
A fusion of monkey,
baby, and puppy dances jerkily instead of walking. It jabbers its own name as
its obscene pink tongue probes for exposed flesh.
Puppymonkeybaby CR 4
XP 1,200
CE Small aberration
Init +8; Senses darkvision 60 ft.; Perception +1
DEFENSE
AC 17, touch 15,
flat-footed 13 (+4 Dex, +2 natural, +1 size)
hp 37 (5d8+15)
Fort +4, Ref +7, Will +1
Defensive Abilities
dancing dodge; Immune mind-affecting
effects; SR 15
OFFENSE
Speed 30 ft.,
climb 10 ft.
Melee bite +8
(1d4), tongue +3 touch (befuddling lick)
Special Attacks
babble, bewildering dance
ECOLOGY
Environment any
land
Organization
solitary, pair, or “dear <insert deity name>, why?” (3–12)
STATISTICS
Str 10, Dex 18, Con 16, Int 3, Wis 5, Cha 17
Base Atk +3; CMB +2; CMD 16
Feats Improved
Initiative, Lightning Reflexes, Weapon Finesse
Skills Acrobatics
+8, Climb +8, Escape Artist +8, Perception +1, Perform (dance) +9
SQ confusion
grace
SPECIAL ABILITIES
Babble (Su) A
puppymonkeybaby repeats its name continuously, battering its opponents’ mental
defenses with its inanities. A creature within 60 feet of the puppymonkeybaby
must succeed at a DC 15 Will save to avoid taking a –4 penalty on further Will
saves against the puppymonkeybaby’s abilities. Regardless of the result, a
creature cannot be affected by the same puppymonkeybaby’s babble for 24 hours.
This is a mind-affecting, sonic effect; the save DC is Charisma-based.
Befuddling Lick (Su)
If a puppymonkeybaby succeeds at a touch attack with its tongue, the target
creature must succeed at a DC 15 Will save or become confused for 1d6+1 rounds.
This is a mind-affecting effect, and the save DC is Charisma-based.
Bewildering Dance
(Su) A puppymonkeybaby can perplex opponents by performing a twitching
dance. All creatures within 30 feet that can see the puppymonkeybaby when it
uses its bewildering dance must succeed on a DC 15 Will save or be fascinated
for 2d6 rounds. This is a mind-affecting effect. The save DC is Charisma-based.
Once per day, a
puppymonkeybaby can make a Perform (dance) check to set the save DC for this
ability. The puppymonkeybaby must accept the result of the Perform check even
if its lower than the normal save DC.
Confusion Grace (Su)
If a puppymonkeybaby attacks a confused creature, the creature will not attack
the puppymonkeybaby in return. Likewise, if a confused creature gets
"attack nearest creature" as a result on its confusion roll, the
creature ignores the puppymonkeybaby.
Dancing Dodge (Ex)
As an immediate action on a successful attack against it, if a puppymonkeybaby
is not flat-footed or immobilized, it can make a Perform (dance) check to
replace its AC against that attack. The puppymonkeybaby must accept the result,
even if it is worse that its current AC. The resulting AC still suffers any
penalties incurred by the puppymonkeybaby against its AC.
The dread kraken, Ith’qa’lool’pon, decided the best way to
defeat the two-legged land dwellers that vexed it was to create innocuous spies
that its enemies would accept in their midst. The infiltrators would
telepathically gather information about enemy strength, plans, and other vital
intel, and they would transmit that information to the dread kraken.
Ith’qa’lool’pon set his aboleth fleshcrafters to the task, so the devious
creatures tore images of beloved creature from the minds of humanoids they had
been torturing. The result was the puppymonkeybaby. Pleased with the abominable
amalgams, the dread kraken set them loose.
The creatures were not successful at their intended task,
since they could not actually read humanoid minds. However, they created such
incomprehension and dismay among people, that several locations they infested
fell to rioting as a result of their baffling natures. With resistance softened
as a result of infighting, the dread kraken could send its shock troops to
finish off what the puppymonkeybabies started. Areas that managed to drive off
the creatures learned to shoot one on sight if it reappeared.
Fortunately, for the world at large, the formula for
creating puppymonkeybabies self-immolated (yes, even underwater) after the
aboleths created the first batch. Unfortunately, through some depraved process,
puppymonkeybabies bred true and continue to assault people with their nonsensicality.
